I notice that in the original the poem uses the word астры. Your translation of "asters" can mean the flower or it's an antiquated word for a star. I supposed it meant star as in stars on a military uniform.
I wonder why Mandelstam didn't use the usual word for star, Звезда. In English, "asters" sounds odd and contrived. How about in Russian? Maybe that's the effect he wanted
Mandelstam uses the word Астры- flowers, which is known to you, but not to the rest of my readers, unfortunately. I don't know any other word but aster, so use it in my translation. I would be happy to accept any English translation of my Russian poets. If you noticed, in the comments below, there is a beautiful translation of this poem, rendered by Konstantin Asimonov. Thank you for your interest, and welcome to other translations. My next essay will be about Marina Tsvetaeva.
Yes, besides that, he was so daring to write about his so-called anti-Soviet mood, for which he was hounded. He was the only one at the time. I just couldn't finish my Mandelstam without these poems.
Костя, с моей жуткой ступидити, я, наверно, нажала на Кансел и уничтожила свой хвалебный гимн переводчику. Коротко: I am amazed by your perfect translation! Rhythm, rhythm, both consistent with Mandelstam's. Congratulations! (Just let's forget that, being very poor, he had only one old, eaten by moth fur coat, from somebody's shoulders.) Thank you very much for your perfect translation!
Yes, the fur coats were a compromise I had to make. A singular fur coat required an article, and that ruined the rhythm. I struggled with this line quite a bit, and in the end I decided that since Mandelstam is being a little sarcastic here (he's calling his moth-eaten coat "барская"), the plural "fur coats" can only strengthen the sarcasm and therefore does not fall far from the original intention.
Thank you, Larisa! Mandelstam is very hard to translate faithfully, but this poem specifically was relatively smooth sailing. I think "list poems" are a little bit more forgiving due to their simpler grammatical structure.
Yes, you are right. It is my old teacher's habit to notice all, even tiny "mistakes." Your translation is ideal, and Mandelstam is tough to translate. I, even in my literal translation, decided not to give the whole poems. Thank you.
P. S. "Alpine - quinine" was a gift of a rhyme. When I figured this one out (I had to check out the correct pronunciation of both words in a thesaurus), it was a true epiphany, and the whole poem followed through.
Yes, I see how it can help. I think, with your talent for translation, you can publish your translations of poetry in the literary magazines. I read some translations recently, I forgot where exactly (Portia knows), and found so many mistakes, including Yaroslav instead of the famous weeping Yaroslavna.
I try sometimes, with no luck yet. With "official" publications I also have to be careful about copyright issues, since I don't have permission to do commercial translation.
I thought commercial translations were for books, not for online magazines. And how about those English-Russian translations of Tsvetaeva, I read recently with Yroslav(?!) Would you, please, publish your Mandelstam's translation in the Notes. More people will read it there than in my post. I am very proud of your translation. And tired of the easy poetry of love, I read here.
Larisa, these are some of the most wonderful pieces of writing to which you have introduced us. Very touching and very redolent words. We all must be grateful for your freedom to our attention so that we can contemplate ideas such as "For I betrayed your salty and tender lips",
I couldn't include these two poems in my essay, but I also couldn't end the Mandelstam section without my favorite poems. Thank you so much for your appreciation of that difficult poet. He wrote very few love lyrics, but his is the best.
I spent time in Russia in the 1990s. Here’s a poem I wrote recently in support of the decent and good people I met there.
https://substack.com/home/post/p-168764830?source=queue
Thanks for this. It’s interesting to read.
I notice that in the original the poem uses the word астры. Your translation of "asters" can mean the flower or it's an antiquated word for a star. I supposed it meant star as in stars on a military uniform.
I wonder why Mandelstam didn't use the usual word for star, Звезда. In English, "asters" sounds odd and contrived. How about in Russian? Maybe that's the effect he wanted
Mandelstam uses the word Астры- flowers, which is known to you, but not to the rest of my readers, unfortunately. I don't know any other word but aster, so use it in my translation. I would be happy to accept any English translation of my Russian poets. If you noticed, in the comments below, there is a beautiful translation of this poem, rendered by Konstantin Asimonov. Thank you for your interest, and welcome to other translations. My next essay will be about Marina Tsvetaeva.
If we have a three-star general, for example, what Russian word would be used for "star" there. Would it be Звезда?
I don't know how many stars a Russian general has or had, but yes, we use a system of stars to define military ranks. Star is звезда.
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing.
I'm glad you liked his poems. Thank you.
Mandelshtam is a treasure trove of amazing verses. Thanks, Larisa!
Yes, besides that, he was so daring to write about his so-called anti-Soviet mood, for which he was hounded. He was the only one at the time. I just couldn't finish my Mandelstam without these poems.
He was one of a kind, as an artist and as a man.
I’m drinking for martial asters, and all they admonished me for:
For seigneural fur-coats, for asthma, for bile of St. Petersburg’s yore.
For melody of Savoy pinetrees, for petrol of Champs-Élysées,
For roses in a Rolls-Royce cabin, for oil of Parisian displays.
I’m drinking for waves on the Biscay, for jugs of cream—pure, alpine,
For English girls’ red-haired smugness, for colonies-hailing quinine,
I’m drinking, but I’m still uncertain which one of the two my heart wants:
The carefree Asti Spumante, or wine from the Papal wine-vaults.
Костя, с моей жуткой ступидити, я, наверно, нажала на Кансел и уничтожила свой хвалебный гимн переводчику. Коротко: I am amazed by your perfect translation! Rhythm, rhythm, both consistent with Mandelstam's. Congratulations! (Just let's forget that, being very poor, he had only one old, eaten by moth fur coat, from somebody's shoulders.) Thank you very much for your perfect translation!
Yes, the fur coats were a compromise I had to make. A singular fur coat required an article, and that ruined the rhythm. I struggled with this line quite a bit, and in the end I decided that since Mandelstam is being a little sarcastic here (he's calling his moth-eaten coat "барская"), the plural "fur coats" can only strengthen the sarcasm and therefore does not fall far from the original intention.
Thank you, Larisa! Mandelstam is very hard to translate faithfully, but this poem specifically was relatively smooth sailing. I think "list poems" are a little bit more forgiving due to their simpler grammatical structure.
Yes, you are right. It is my old teacher's habit to notice all, even tiny "mistakes." Your translation is ideal, and Mandelstam is tough to translate. I, even in my literal translation, decided not to give the whole poems. Thank you.
P. S. "Alpine - quinine" was a gift of a rhyme. When I figured this one out (I had to check out the correct pronunciation of both words in a thesaurus), it was a true epiphany, and the whole poem followed through.
Yes, I see how it can help. I think, with your talent for translation, you can publish your translations of poetry in the literary magazines. I read some translations recently, I forgot where exactly (Portia knows), and found so many mistakes, including Yaroslav instead of the famous weeping Yaroslavna.
I try sometimes, with no luck yet. With "official" publications I also have to be careful about copyright issues, since I don't have permission to do commercial translation.
I thought commercial translations were for books, not for online magazines. And how about those English-Russian translations of Tsvetaeva, I read recently with Yroslav(?!) Would you, please, publish your Mandelstam's translation in the Notes. More people will read it there than in my post. I am very proud of your translation. And tired of the easy poetry of love, I read here.
Is this your own translation, Konstantin? It's magnificent, you even managed to reproduce the sound of the original.
It is. Thanks!
Chapeau, your command of English, and prosody, is astounding!
Larisa, these are some of the most wonderful pieces of writing to which you have introduced us. Very touching and very redolent words. We all must be grateful for your freedom to our attention so that we can contemplate ideas such as "For I betrayed your salty and tender lips",
Thank you as ever
I couldn't include these two poems in my essay, but I also couldn't end the Mandelstam section without my favorite poems. Thank you so much for your appreciation of that difficult poet. He wrote very few love lyrics, but his is the best.
Enjoyed your Writings
Thank you very much! I am very glad to hear that.